I’ll be honest with you. For most of my life as a solopreneur, “connection” was something I admired in other leaders, from a very safe, very productive distance. I’m not unfriendly (ask anyone who has caught me when my to-do list is short; I’m delightful). But for years, I lived firmly in the land of doing, and that land had very little room for lingering conversations.
As a recovering workaholic, the guilt was real: Why am I wasting time talking when there is so much to be done? That voice was loud. It still visits occasionally. Planning helped. Blocking time, building structure around connection so it didn’t feel like time stolen from the work. But the deeper shift came when I stopped treating connection as a nice-to-have and started seeing it for what it actually is: the work.
The rewards show up in the most unexpected ways. Sometimes it’s stepping out for a coffee (their preference, not mine; I’m firmly in the tea camp) and walking away with the solution to a challenge I’d been quietly mulling for months, not in a strategy session and not staring at a screen. In a conversation over a warm cup. And other times, it’s bigger than solutions.
One of those times, stepping out of my home office led me to someone I can only describe as an answered prayer. That connection, the kind I almost talked myself out of because the to-do list was long, turned out to be one of the most significant of my leadership journey.
And then there was the team member who said, quietly and with genuine surprise, that they were grateful I’d reached out. That moment stopped me. Not because I’d done anything extraordinary. I’d simply shown up. But it reminded me that to someone who doesn’t expect to be seen, being seen feels remarkable.
The higher I navigate in leadership, the clearer it becomes: authority gets compliance, but connection gets commitment. People don’t go the extra mile for a title. They go the extra mile for someone who made them feel like they matter.
So if you’re a fellow doer reading this, the one with the full calendar and the quiet guilt about “wasting time” in conversation, consider this your permission slip. Put down the list. Pick up the phone. Accept the coffee (or the tea). The work will be there when you return. And you might just come back with the solution, the person, or the moment you didn’t know you needed.
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Bio: Heneka Watkis-Porter is the Founder and CEO of Grace to Grow Mentorship & Training, where she empowers women to thrive in purpose and leadership (gracetogrowglobal.com). Beyond Grace to Grow, Heneka hosts impactful Leadercast events, produces The Entrepreneurial You Podcast and TV Show, and has interviewed global icons such as Richard Branson and Lisa Nichols. She’s also an 8x author, the innovative founder of Patwa Apparel, co-founder of She Leads Conference with the Jamaica Stock Exchange, and the creator of the LeadHerShip cruise-based leadership event.
Above all, Heneka is a teacher, encourager, and guide, empowering women to heal, grow, and lead with grace.