As I type this post, it’s a few days before Thanksgiving. I will drive 4+ hours tomorrow to pick up my youngest child from college. Our oldest will drive home from a different college on Wednesday morning.
Just yesterday, I was cleaning out the garage the night before a Thanksgiving snowstorm as those same two kids played in the basement with their elementary school friends.
At least, that’s how it feels.
I don’t have a problem with my kids growing up, but I have trouble realizing that I also am aging.
How am I entering my fourth decade of post-college life?
How can I be experienced enough to mentor younger leaders when I still have so much to learn?
That second question has troubled me since our content manager assigned me this blog series. But then, yesterday, I met with some younger leaders who helped shape my perspective.
1. My experiences have taught me more than I realize.
As I sat with these young leaders, I assumed they knew many things I take for granted. Simply put, they don’t know what they don’t know.
As we discussed the financial operations of their small non-profit, I rattled off several things that I assumed they knew they should be concerned about. They started furiously taking notes, and it hit me: I just know stuff they don’t know.
Why?
Thirty years of learning. That’s it. It’s not really me. It’s my experience.
2. I am obligated to share what I have learned with those behind me.
There is a temptation to hide what I have learned to maintain a position of power or authority.
This temptation is deeply rooted in a scarcity mindset.
According to Tabitha Kirkland, a psychologist and associate teaching professor at the University of Washington’s Department of Psychology, a scarcity mindset is when you believe there are limited resources, so if someone else has something, you feel less of that resource is available for you.
Scarcity is a lie.
There is enough.
When I share what I have learned, it makes everyone better, and that’s the point.
Sharing what I have learned is rooted in love and abundance.
Hiding what I have learned is rooted in fear and lack.
3. “What are you trying to accomplish? How can I help?”
If I could redo yesterday’s meeting, I would start by asking, “What are you trying to accomplish?”
Because I didn’t start with that question, we spent the first forty-five minutes discussing details that probably didn’t matter. By the end, we had clarified our objective, and as I drove away, I realized how I could help.
Starting the meeting with those two questions would have involved a lot of humility.
And perhaps that’s the whole point.
If you are going to serve emerging leaders, you have to approach it with humility, not pride. You are there to help them learn what you have learned so that they can go farther and faster.