Several years ago, I was sitting with a mentor, processing some of the junk in my life. I bemoaned former leaders and authority figures, complained about the scars they had left in my life, and griped about my current state based on what “those people” did in the past.
My mentor patiently listened as I whined. Then he uttered a simple phrase that I often think of: “It has been my experience that most people do their best with what they have been given. So you may want to extend some grace to ‘those people.’ Perhaps they weren’t given much.”
Now, when someone is driving me crazy, I try to pause and remember, “It has been my experience that most people do their best with what they have been given.”
But here’s the catch: What’s true of others is also true of me. I bring my positive and negative history to every interaction with younger leaders.
I am responsible for developing habits and routines to help me be the healthiest version of myself and prevent me from passing my lousy baggage to others.
Because who I am influences younger leaders more than anything that I say. Or, as Ralph Waldo Emerson more eloquently put it, “Who you are speaks so loudly I can’t hear what you’re saying.”
So, as we seek to mentor emerging leaders, the most important work we will do is on ourselves.
Here are three routines I am building into my life so I am a healthier, whole human being.
1. A Positive Morning Routine
I am not an optimist, but as I age, how this drags me down becomes more apparent. Thus, I begin every day with a positive morning routine.
Two of our Leadercast 2025 Conference speakers, Hal Elrod and Jon Gordon, have significantly influenced this routine. They have become mentors from afar. Jon challenged me to think more positively, and Hal gave me a framework to begin my day with positive inputs.
Hal’s Miracle Morning, which includes silence, affirmations, visualization, exercise, reading, and journaling, gives me an easy-to-follow framework for bettering myself first thing in the morning.
2. Regularly Engaging in Enjoyable Activities
When I was younger, I would try to grind all the time. I thought only the weak took a break from the task to do something they liked.
I was wrong, and it made me a miserable person.
Now, I schedule activities that I enjoy simply because I enjoy them. For me, this is 1) playing full-court basketball with the right crowd, 2) working outside in my yard, and 3) connecting with friends on a similar journey.
3. Getting enough sleep.
A lack of sleep brings out the worst in me. Enough said.
I will close by restating Ralph’s quote, “Who you are speaks so loudly I can’t hear what you’re saying.” You cannot avoid this truth if you want to develop emerging leaders.
So, build healthy routines that help you deal with YOU.