Last fall, I was experiencing significant back pain. It affected my sleep, interrupted my most replenishing activities (dog walks, basketball), and impacted my most important relationships.
After a few weeks of denial, I went to a physical therapist and massage therapist. He put me through a battery of stretches and exercises. At one point he worked so deeply on my shoulder that it was bruised, but I didn’t care because it was feeling better.
He explained that I had strained my shoulder, causing tension in the middle of my back. (I would have never figured that out on my own.) He further explained how everything in our body impacts other parts of our body.
It was an enlightening experience on many levels.
The only reason I feel better today is because I acknowledged the pain and talked to a friend about it, who recommended a specific physical therapist.
Good things happen when we acknowledge reality.
Whenever I lead a change initiative, I hate the tension it causes. I hate it so much that sometimes I want to ignore the tension that exists, which never helps.
So, as I try to improve as a leader, I am seeking to do two things as I lead change:
1. Go first and acknowledge the tension.
This is simple. I just have to say out loud, “I know this is uncomfortable, aggravating, frustrating, a brand new way of doing this, confusing, challenging, . . . .”
This works best when I choose emotional words.
2. Ask how others feel about the change and listen without judgment or arguing.
This one is more challenging to do.
Most leaders are not great at listening, and we don’t like to hear that our actions are causing others aggravation. So, we will tend to argue, defend and restate our case.
There may be a time to restate the case, but most of the time, people need to know that we care about how they are doing, and that is enough.
So, don’t live in denial the next time you lead change. Acknowledge the tension you have created.