I have learned most of the things I know about leadership the hard way.
Another way to say that is: I did it wrong the first time.
One of my greatest mistakes regarding feedback is that I don’t give it soon enough.
For example, I had an employee who did not understand that keeping his area clean and neat was part of his job. What made it worse was that I assumed he understood it was part of his job.
(We were working with teenagers, and “it just made sense” to me that a clean, neat environment would put the parents at ease, knowing their kids were safe in our building.)
My employee was naturally great with kids and created fun, engaging, learning experiences, but cleanliness was not his strong suit.
And it drove me crazy.
And I started creating false narratives on why he didn’t keep it clean and neat. “He was lazy. He was disorganized. He didn’t care. He . . .”
Eventually, when I was fully aggravated, I took him into the room and told him it was wrong and unacceptable. (I don’t think I was mean about it, though I was probably condescending.)
I was stunned when he told me he didn’t see it as messy.
And it hit me: “I am upset because I see it as a mess, and he doesn’t see it as a mess.”
In other words, I have been frustrated with him about something he does not actually see.
How was he supposed to know what I see unless I tell him?
If I had given him feedback sooner, I would have saved myself the aggravation and stopped rehearsing stories that weren’t true.
So, give feedback sooner, not later.