My kids are in college, so it’s been over a decade since I coached pee wee sports. I coached one year of softball tee-ball and a couple of seasons of youth basketball.
And those three seasons taught me something significant about leadership. Let me explain.
I was never a big bat-and-ball athlete, so I was not a great tee-ball coach. But they needed help, and I raised my hand in a moment of weakness. So, I will give myself a pass on that one.
Basketball is a different story. I love the game and have played it consistently for over four decades, but I am not a gifted physical athlete. I can’t run fast. I can’t jump. (I’ve never touched the rim, even when I was in fantastic shape.) But I loved the game so much that I learned how to play it well, even without those innate abilities.
And that’s what made coaching pee wee basketball so frustrating.
I could not translate my technical understanding of the game into something a first-grader could understand or benefit from.
It was so aggravating.
One of my friends was also a coach. Professionally, he was an elementary school teacher. So, watching him work with the little kids was like watching Leonardo da Vinci work with paints. And his kids would get better.
Mine, on the other hand, seemed to get worse.
And here’s the point: sometimes, your leadership style isn’t wrong. It’s just not a good fit for the people on your team.
Those first graders could not improve because, no matter how hard I tried, my technical coaching style did not resonate with them.
I have also experienced this in my professional career.
If you want to work for a leader who likes to lead with the big picture and asks questions to get better answers, if you want leeway to do your job without much interference but who is available to answer your questions, I’m your guy.
If you want detailed, regular instructions and great day-to-day coaching, I will frustrate you to no end.
Because of this, I have always been super methodical and slow about hiring people. I need to know if people fit my style, which takes a while to discern.
In my leadership career, I have rushed two hires because I needed someone quickly. Both times, the hires ended poorly, and those people moved on.
In both cases, people eventually called me to ask for a reference. And I had to say, “Listen, we had to part ways not because they were wrong and I was right, but because they needed a leadership style that I couldn’t provide. We were just not a good fit.”
As we wrap up our series on leadership styles, here are my parting thoughts.
Leadership styles are really about fit.
When you understand who you are as a leader, you can ask discerning questions to determine if your style fits the organization’s or team’s needs.
If so, move forward. If not, move on.
